Half a Year, a Thousand Lives

As I brushed my teeth this morning, eyes half-closed and half-functioning, getting ready for my blood test because my doctor is slightly concerned that I have, in fact, been falling sick almost every month since the year started, I realized it is June 30th. Just June, except it feels like I’ve lived an entire decade in the space of these six months.

I was telling someone a few days ago that I cannot believe we are still in June. Do you know all I have done in June alone? Lol.

All of this has led me to say, quite unequivocally, that the first half of this year has been nothing short of… interesting. Many things don happen, mehn. As we say in Yorùbá, Ọ̀rọ̀ pọ̀ nínú ìwé kọ́bọ̀.

Some you already know. Some you don’t, because the NDA I signed with myself, for myself, very strictly prevents me from sharing them with anyone but me. But my, oh my.

I have done insane things since the year started, and so have insane things been done to me, and I have been stretched in every possible direction. So it is not particularly surprising that my body has been buckling under the weight of it all, reminding me almost every month that stress eventually collects its debt.

I have lived a thousand lives—queues in a thousand lives, as in the James Blunt song.

I have cried, I have laughed, I have had panic attacks, but as you already know, “Black don’t crack.”

I have also found myself, or maybe just gotten to know myself a little better. I have found more things to love, like house music, techno, kringlooping (you really need to see the gems I have found), and Sushi. As R** said while describing the Sushi they had in Japan: “The sushi there tastes like what I imagine heaven would.” I have not been to heaven, obviously, but based on what I’ve experienced so far, I understand what they meant a little too well.

I also bought plants (four of them), and I fully intend to show people pictures of them whenever they show me pictures of their pets. I moved cities, made friends and acquaintances, started countless side quests, which is perhaps my favorite achievement so far, and did things I never imagined I would do (NDA). I have also become increasingly comfortable doing things alone, which apparently reads as a red flag to some people.

Most importantly, I think I am happier than I have ever been. When I think back to shouting “Happy New Year” at Leidseplein while navigating what felt like a war zone of fireworks, I could not have imagined my life taking this route. And yet here I am, in a completely different circumstance, trying to live it as fully as I can.

Looking back, I don’t think I have a profound conclusion to offer, other than to appreciate how much life has actually happened in such a short time; the ups and downs, the joy and sadness, the sickness and health. If I had to leave myself (or you) with anything, it would simply be not to be afraid to start over and to do things. It will be difficult, yes, but diamonds were not forged easily, no?

So, cheers to H1, 2026. Here’s to H2. Let’s get it. What are we getting? TBD!