An Incomplete List of Happiness, in No Particular Order

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”What makes you happy?” They asked for the umpteenth time.

Dating has been quite interesting and enlightening for me. It has made me realize the qualities I’ve developed at work are now seeping into my life, one of which is asking pretty great questions when I want to. I mean, you don’t get to do the kind of job I do and not learn how to ask questions(Braggado).

However, it has also made me more aware of people asking “interview-like” questions. I’ll give them a pass, though, because relationships are work, right? You’re probably just trying to find the right person and not mis-hire (misdate).

One question I have been asked more often than I’d like is, What makes you happy?

The last time someone asked me this, I sighed because their answer was, “Spending time with my friends.” I didn’t know whether to give an honest answer, match their energy because I mean, 1+1 = 2, spending time with friends make us all happy, or keep it brief and move on. But as some of you know by now, I do not know how to summarize or be brief. So I decided I’d either be authentic or not answer at all. I chose authenticity.

I know that for a lot of people it is one or two things, but for me it isn’t. It is numerous, and it varies. More importantly, what makes me happy today may not make me happy tomorrow. The things that make me happy are just as fluid as the things that make me sad, feel other emotions, or even leave me indifferent.

So, every time I’m asked this question. I think about my response and feel grateful for what I have at the moment and for what I have lost. Now I’ve decided to write it down to remember all the things that make me happy, and to keep updating it as life goes on. It’s important to know that this arrangement is not based on how happy they make me.

So, let’sssss gooo!

  • My family. I’m happy when I catch up with them. I wrote this piece after one of those catch-ups with one of my uncles.

  • My dear friends, without whom I’d have no one to share stupid nonsense with, delivered with such enviable conviction.

  • Eating something that blows my mind. Sushi, for example.

  • Cooking, although I would rather starve sometimes than do it. Surprising, right? I know.

  • Going on walks, touching grass, and just breathing in the air.

  • Receiving a delivery.

  • Finding a book I absolutely love.

  • Finding a passage in a book that makes me pause and ponder.

  • Reading a sentence where a word is used so beautifully, it blows my mind.

  • Having interesting conversations with people who are excited to yap about something serious or absolute nonsense.

  • Planning a trip.

  • Stepping foot in a new country.

  • Finding a good TV-show.

  • Making ginger tea and getting it just right, so now I make it every day.

  • My exes. In their time.

  • Eating Agege bread with mayonnaise.

  • Watching my apartment take shape, one addition at a time.

  • Receiving holiday pay.

  • Outfits turning out exactly like I imagined in my head.

  • Biking (except when it’s windy).

  • Fresh sheets.

  • Shopping, both online and IRL window shopping.

  • People-watching.

  • Stumbling on a new song. My favorite as of the time of writing this is Kingdom of Fear by Cameron Whitcomb.

  • Blasting music through headphones.

  • My sister is cooking while I keep her company.

  • Talking to my very lovable yet annoying brother when he’s temporarily decided to be less annoying.

  • Writing.

  • Sunshine.

  • Rain (I love rain!).

  • A clean house.

  • A good-smelling house.

  • Body care, especially when I’ve just had a scrub, and I proceed to moisturize while playing music in the background.

  • Watching TV.

  • Pancakes.

  • Traveling

  • Finding a favorite spot in a park, like when I found mine at Vondelpark.

  • Watching my plants bloom and grow new leaves. I get unreasonably paranoid when they wilt or turn yellow.

  • Handwritten notes.

  • Comedy shows.

  • Dancing.

  • Eating eggs and kiwi.

  • Fantastic blueberry muffin

As you can probably tell from this list, many things make me happy, which is why the question is hard to answer in a straightforward way. I also don’t think you can tell a random person all of them; they’d probably think you’re a bit crazy. And these days, dating dynamics seem to be shifting toward people being less open. Unfortunately, that is not me.

So, happiness for me is talking to Mariam while I eat ice cream at a random corner shop on my way home. It is eating sushi. It is talking to my lovely brother. It is my plants unfurling new leaves. It is Agege bread and mayo. It is my home, slowly becoming mine.

Perhaps tomorrow, something entirely different will make me happy, and when that happens, I will update this page.

In all, I hope I never run out of things that make me happy, and that I can look back at this lis, years from now and wonder why on earth eating kiwi ever made me this happy.